Friday, October 28, 2011

Feedback

I was a little confused by my peer reviews. Before class I had Mrs. Knapp read over my rough draft. It seems I was able to get more of a positive response and feedback from our teacher rather than the students who read my paper. So all in all I was more confused than ever.

On the rough draft peer review where the students have to give their feedback about what my paper included and missed I had checkmarks all under the no section and almost section. I was so confused when I saw this especially getting positive feedback from our instructor I felt like I had to re-write my whole paper. I am though taking into consideration my peers feedback and I am working on all aread to tighten up my paper and making it more presentable.

I tried to incorporate more examples into my paper in regards to the three topics i chose to write about. I tried to go over the TEA in each paragraph to make sure that it was all covered. I stayed traditional and named my essay Persepolis, and I was able to, with the help of Mrs. Knapp, find my thesis that was lodged in the third page of my essay. I found a better place to fit it somewhere between the first and second paragraph of my essay. I think that I revised it and hopefully it is good enough to pass, fingers crossed.

After proof reading and proof reading and proof reading I was able to find the errors and comments that my peers made in regards to my rough draft and hopefully I was able to fix if not all but most of them to help me prepare for my final draft. I also found myself practically re reading my book after I looked over some notes we took as a group when we had to do the sandwhich paragraph and cause and effects on certain things that we had to identify in the book. Actually those notes helped a lot when I was writing my paper. I also was able to get some help from the peers in my class that read my essay. Though they made comments on the paper we were given to write about the essay we were reading by giving our input they also helped me through one one one conversation on how to pin everything together as I wrote my essay.

As I said before getting a positive feedback from Mrs. Knapp was great but when I got the negative feedback from my essay in class I was extremely confused. I was stuck on what to do because the teacher said great, students said no no no, ughhhh so confusing. I hope I got it together and hopefully all the scratching of my head, and anxiety attacks helped me fix it up and make it hopefully a descent work of art, until it is graded we will not know, so fingers crossed and all the I’s all dotted and t’s crossed.

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Week 6 Rough Draft


Rough Draft

Persepolis, by Marjane Satrapi, is a comic book novel about her life growing up in Iran. It was difficult for me to understand because I was fortunate enough to never experience war during my childhood. Though this novel is told by a child’s perspective, I did on the other hand feel like I was seeing her life through her own eyes in this autobiographical novel. Marjane, a child who fights for what she believes in, though her actions seem rebellious, does get her into trouble.  For example, most of us were rebellious and still are till this very day. Though I might be older, at a young age, I was very rebellious towards my parents. I remember at one time I was a Marjane Satrapi, especially during my teen years. There are many memorable moments a child experiences before they hit adulthood such as their first date, puppy love, and looking your best for senior prom. For Marjane Satrapi, she was unfortunate to experience things that most American young girls do. Marjane experienced other things differently. Her adulthood occurred faster than most young girls along with her rebellious acts. I hardly ever hear a young child speak of themselves as the next prophet but for Marjane she started out believing in God and wanting to be a prophet. After seeing war and oppression she becomes a rebel and questions her faith and her social implications.

As I read page after page in this novel at times I found myself shocked at what Marjane had to go through as a little girl in Iran during the Revolution, and how she rebelled against multiple things. For me I could only, at that moment, think of rebelling against my parents for the silliest things that make me look back and laugh about now how immature and selfish I was back then. I still apologize to this day for how I acted and treated my parents when I did not get my way, or get what I wanted when I wanted it. How thoughtless and careless I was, to not see the importance of life, family! Marjane on the other hand, like I had said before did not grow up as a “normal” American girl who experienced “normal” things as a young girl. She lived in a country during a Revolution. Yet in the end she became a strong woman, independent woman, who fights for what she believes in no matter what life throws in front of her. She deals with it in a child’s way at times but everything in the end makes her who she was then and is who she has become now.
Persepolis beings with Marjane in school at the age of ten years old and she is wearing a veil. The year is 1980 and she is with a group of other girls, all wearing the veil, lined up from left to right. It was at this time the girls who attended this school were obligated to wear the veil, though she hated it, it was the rule. Wearing the veil for Majane was confusing; she did not know how to react to this. Marjane says, “I really didn’t know what to think about the veil. Deep down I was very religious but as a family we were very modern and avant-garde” (6).
Marjane’s deep passion for religion and believing so much that she was the last prophet; she says “I was born with religion” (6). By the age of six years old Marjane says, “I was already sure I was the last prophet” (6). She would have multiple conversations about her future as the last prophet with her imaginary friend, whom in the comic strips within the novel, looks likes God. Marjane identifies herself as the next prophet and yet her family is not spiritual or religious. Her family’s faith lies in the political ideology. Her faith is slowly lost as she confronts the political issues in her world. When she begins to hear stories of torture and imprisonment from her family members. She decides that since she can not hold onto her faith due to the Islamic regime coming into power, she breaks loose from her imaginary friend and her faith.
I am the youngest of four children, and I cannot imagine anything more horrible than being in a world within an environment where my country was dealing with Revolution. I believe the author’s decision to tell her own personal story through the eyes of a child and the experiences she had in childhood allows us to see how a child, during a time of war, was able to grow into a strong woman with opinions of her own and quickly leaves childhood into adulthood at a young age. For example, when Marjane was in the basement, she takes out a cigarette that she had taken from her uncle, and like the people of Iran rebelling against the government, she to rebelled against her mother. She lights her uncle’s cigarette and coughs right after inhaling, but does not give in so she continues to smoke the cigarette. At that moment in the novel, she says “With this first cigarette, I kissed childhood goodbye.” This is the very moment Marjane leaves childhood and enters adulthood.
Marjane’s boldest statement of rebellion was smoking that cigarette in the basement. This was only the first step into adulthood, but soon after she acted on her independence when she met her Uncle Taher who is ironically dying from cigarettes. In order for his son to leave the persecution of the Islamic regime, Uncle Taher sent his son away to Europe to save him from this turmoil surrounding them. Marjane’s cigarette smoking experience did in her mind prove that she was now an adult. The cigarette, a cigarette, I believe is the symbol of freedom but is also a way of destruction since it took her Uncle Taher’s life along with the stress of the war going on around them.
There were many times that Marjane had to fight for what she believed in. By smoking she achieved the first step into adulthood by kissing her childhood goodbye. This was her right by gaining freedom but she also encountered situations where she found herself fighting for her freedom.


Friday, October 7, 2011

Week 4 (Questions for first written assignment)

What is feminism?
How is feminism used in this book?
How are feminism and Marjane connected?
What things or experiences occurred in the book that reflect feminism?


I do not know how to start this essay, I am stressed. I think that I have to re-read Mrs. Knapps articles online on her blog on the steps necessary to complete this assignment. Ugh, the stress and anxiety of writing a paper that hopefully meets all aspects of this assignment.


The one thing that I am confused about that I need to investigate on more is does the thesis come before the introduction or does the thesis lie anywhere in the essay? And also I started to think twice if I should write a feminism essay or a reader response essay but now that I think about it I am leaning more to writing a reader response essay.



What were your feelings after reading the opening chapter of this
book?
What parts of the book made you smile? Explain what connections are there between the book and your life? Explain.
What is the most important word in the book? The most important passage? The most important event or feeling? Who shouldn’t or shouldn’t read this book? Why?
What are the best parts of the book? Why? What are the worst parts? Why?
These are some questions I found that readers usually ask themselves. What I would like to know and would like to write about is what is the role of women in this greatly written factual story? I would like to compare the various women in this book. I want to seperate Marji, Marji's mother, maid and grandmother and see how they are as individual women int his society of Iran.

Im not exactly sure yet what I want to write about burt I hope I will soon, ughhh the stress of writing and getting blanks is a killer.